INTERNATIONAL ADDICTIONS MINISTRIES (I AM)
_______________________________________________________________________________________
PO Box 1906 Mansfield TX 76063 Phone: (623) 255-7888 Email: truefreedom3@aol.com
Founder's Testimony
Black Sheep of the Family
I was born in a small house in the country on May 16th 1956. I was the youngest of four children and my first five years were very unstable. My father was not around to help so my mother had to split us up to live with some of our close relatives. I remember meeting my big brother for the first time when I was five and he was eight. This is when we all began to come together to live in one place with our mother and her parents.
I always got angry when my mother or grandparents told me to do things I didn’t like, because I thought they didn’t like me. I thought they were just picking on me because I reminded them of my father. I often heard them say how much I looked, walked, talked and behaved like him. They and other relatives were always comparing me to him in a negative way. They would always chuckle or frown when they made these comparisons and so I thought they didn’t like me. So whenever they told me to do something (like clean up my room) a big frown came on my face and I stomped across the floor in anger. And although this behavior earned me a lot of beatings I never learned to hide my anger. So I was considered the black sheep of the family.
Hating Church
My grandparents were Christians so we had to go to church, but I hated it with a passion! I hated getting up on Sunday mornings and having to put on what I called a “monkey suit.” It was the kind of dress suit that men and boys wore in the 1960’s. I called it a “monkey suit” because I had seen a chimpanzee dressed in one on a television show. And to make matters worse, I had to wear it with a little dress hat - the kind with the satin band around it and a little feather on the side. I hated it! And I hated church so much that it was hard to go to sleep on Saturday night thinking about Sunday morning.
However, I must admit that I did enjoy one thing at our church. Every Sunday they would sing a song that I fell in love with the first time I heard it. Every time the piano and organ started playing this song I got so excited that I could hardly sit still. I became the happiest boy in the church! I was so happy because it was the last song of the service and it let me know it was time to go. I couldn’t wait to get out of there!
Hungry for the Truth
Although I hated church, I had a sincere and strong desire to understand the meaning of life. I often found myself wondering, “Where did the first people come from?” “When did they get here?” “How did they get here?” “Why do people do what they do?” “What’s the big picture?” What’s the bottom line?” I wanted desperately to know the answer to these questions. But most of all I wondered why I was here, what I was supposed to be doing, and why I was supposed to be doing it. I wanted to know THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH about these things. I was hungry for the truth.
Trying to Find Acceptance
At the age of fifteen, I began drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana trying to fit in with the “cool” crowd. I soon began trying all kinds of pills, both "uppers" and "downers". And as much as I hated needles I even tried shooting heroin and cocaine. As I continued down this path, I got hooked on gambling, pornography, and other bad things. I was out of control, my life was a mess, and I was killing myself.
Although I enjoyed the way these things made me feel the relief was only temporary. When the pleasure and “fun” was over I was still frustrated, unhappy, afraid, and confused. I hated my life because I knew there had to be more to life than just making a living, having fun, and trying to feel good all the time. I had to find my purpose for being here - I had to find THE TRUTH.
Searching for the Truth
One day when I was smoking crack cocaine and drinking with a friend, I looked him in the eye and said… “Once I know THE TRUTH I won’t have to do this anymore.” I was talking about the illegal drugs, the liquor, and even the cigarettes. I believed with all my heart that knowing THE TRUTH would make me free from all this. The strange thing is that I don’t remember ever hearing this in church but I knew that it was true. I wanted to know THE TRUTH more than anything in the world.
I searched for THE TRUTH everywhere I could think of. I studied psychology and the natural sciences but it wasn't there. I read all kinds of “spiritual” books but none of them had it either. I even tried reading the Bible one time but (at that time) it made no sense to me. And my greatest fear, at this time in my life, was to die without knowing THE TRUTH.
Surrendering to a Program
After trying everything I could think of to stop smoking cocaine, I finally surrendered to a 12-step recovery program. The day was April 18th 1990 and the program (so I thought) was my last and best hope for freedom.
The people in the program told me that if I wanted to stay drug free I had to get “a god” or “Higher Power” in my life. At first I didn’t like the idea because I thought God was a fairytale for ignorant people. And since I considered myself to be very intelligent I didn’t believe in fairytales. I believed in evolution because I thought it was scientific and had proven that the Bible was wrong.
Anyway (to make a long story short), the people in the program said that "God" could be whoever or whatever I understood "Him" to be. But having no idea who or what God was, I simply prayed to a generic God. However, I soon realized that the the Lord was the answer to my real problem and that my real problem was sin. This is how it happened:
Rescued by God!
On two occasions (while thoroughly following the program) I was suddenly overcome by a strong urge to smoke cocaine. Both times, as I was walking to “the corner” to buy it, I begged God to stop me. I didn't want to do it but I was completely out of control!
On both of these occasions I quickly found a drug dealer. However, as I hurried home to smoke the drug, I continued begging God to do something to stop me from getting high. When I got to the house I quickly made a pipe, put some of the cocaine in it, lit it, and inhaled. As soon as I tasted it I realized that it was not real cocaine. When this had happened before I got angry and frustrated. But this time I sighed a big sigh of relief, looked up toward heaven and said, “Thank You.” And as soon as I said “Thank You” the urge to get high was completely gone. And although I still had enough money I had no desire to buy cocaine. I was truly amazed!
About a month later, I was even more amazed when THE EXACT SAME THING happened again! I was convinced that either Someone had responded to my cry for help OR I had tapped into some impersonal power. Both times, Someone or Something had led me to a crooked drug dealer, or had changed real drugs into something else. Someone or Something had taken away the urge to get high. Someone or Something had rescued me.
Whichever was the case, I was extremely grateful, and silently (but sincerely), made the following request: “If you’re a real person that heard me, please let me know who you are.” Shortly thereafter, through a series of events, He revealed His identity to me. It was Jesus Christ, the God of the Bible! It was He who had come to my rescue! And He also revealed that He was the only THE TRUE AND LIVING GOD and THE TRUTH I had been searching for, THE TRUTH that could make me free!
Filled with gratitude, I believed the gospel of salvation through Jesus Christ and began seeking His will for my life. He has answered all those nagging questions and has freed me from ALL of my sinful habits. He will do the same for anyone who continues in His word, and this word is what I wish to share with the inmates at your facility, (John 8:31, 32).
Jim Battle,
Servant of Jesus Christ
